At the beginning of a new relationship, you are going to feel excited and happy. You are going to have high hopes for the future, and it could be that everything you thought has now changed. There are a number of different things, however, that you should do right at the start of a relationship if you want it to be long lasting and have a deeper connection with your new partner. Here are some of them.
If you don’t understand yourself emotionally, it is going to be difficult to allow anyone else to understand you either. Without knowing more about yourself, you will always be something of a closed book, and that is a difficult thing for a long-term relationship to sustain. Not knowing more about yourself could even mean that you go into your new relationship in the hope that your partner will be the one to teach you what you are feeling and how you understand the world, but this is a bad idea – you won’t be truly you, and you will always be dependent on someone else.
Until you understand your own thoughts and feelings, it is best to stay away from relationships, otherwise you might find that you simply cannot progress emotionally, and you will become unhappier as time goes on which is bad for both of you and could spell the end of your relationship altogether.
Look At The Positive
No one is perfect, and if you are looking for the perfect partner, then you may never find them at all. Just as you have faults, so too does everyone else, but if this is what you focus on when you meet someone, the relationship will never progress. If, instead, you focus on the more positive aspects of them, such as the fact that they are kind and generous, or that they are hard working for example, then you can enjoy a much happier relationship.
Of course, there are some behaviors that can’t be overlooked, such as criminal acts or anger issues, for example. These can have a seriously negative impact on a relationship. Weigh up the pros and cons, and if the only negatives are insignificant ones in the grand scheme of things, then look beyond, focus on the positive, and you never know where it will take you.
Your sex life is yours to decide, and there is no right amount of time to have sex with your partner. However, be careful regarding your health, as well as the health of your partner. STDs can impact all of us, and sometimes they remain untreated, especially in women who may not realize the symptoms. For women, STDs are less recognizable. Asking your partner to complete STD testing with you is no big ask. They should be willing to undergo it, especially if you are important to them.
Ask Yourself: What Are Your Deal Breakers?
Everyone has deal breakers in a relationship, and no matter how close you are, if you can’t get past these, then there is no future for your pairing. Remember that it is extremely difficult to change someone’s mind about a deal breaker, so don’t assume that they will mellow over time – this will usually only lead to heartbreak.
A deal breaker might be that one partner wants to have children one day whereas the other certainly doesn’t. Or one might want to move to another country at some point, whereas the other wants to stay where they are. One might smoke, one might enjoy drinking, one might spend every weekend playing video games or heading out to go camping, and the other simply doesn’t share this interest which can, in time, break down your relationship.
It could be a big thing or a small, but whatever it is it is important to discuss these at the start of a relationship; it’s not fair on either person if you or they leave it until you are emotionally invested.
Imagine how exhausting it would be to have to keep up a persona every day for the rest of your life. Imagine never being able to be yourself. That’s what would happen if you started a relationship in that way, and the other person fell in love with that version of you. You might be afraid to reveal the ‘real you’ because you would worry that they wouldn’t like it, and that is a problem. So although you should be on your best behavior when you go on dates, you should also always be yourself.
For instance, do you prefer lowkey dates rather than fancy dinners that cost a fortune? If so, but you pretend you’re into the latter, you could make the both of you miserable in the long run. You want them to love you for being completely yourself. It is exhausting to be someone you are not, and, in the end, it could be a waste of both your time, and also the time of the other person.
Right at the start of a relationship, on a first date, or perhaps a second, or third, it can be easy – and tempting – to talk a lot. You want the other person to like you, you want to impress them, you want them to remember you and think about the things you have said. However, just as it is important to give the other person information about you, it is just as important to listen to what they have to say back to you – and to give them a chance to speak too.
Listening to someone else is polite, to begin with, but it will also give you much more to think about. You might hear something that truly fascinates you, or that you don’t like the sound of at all, and you can determine the future of your relationship in this way. You might also learn something new, plus listening shows that you aren’t solely focused on yourself, and that’s a good thing.