What Are Your Options if You Cannot Have Children?

Sadly, many couples find that after months or years of trying, that they are unable to conceive a child naturally. It can be a deeply upsetting and depressing time for couples, as they have a lot of love to give, but no child to give it to. Although having a child of your own is special, there are other alternatives for those who are desperate to be involved in a child’s life. Here are some of the options you can pursue if you are unable to have children naturally.

Seeking Advice and Help

If you have been trying to conceive for some time, then it is important that you try to find out if there is an issue preventing you from conceiving. Although no-one likes to discuss sexual problems, these issues can be a reason for being unable to have children. For example, it is important to be tested for any disease that might be affecting conception in both the man and the woman. Sometimes these diseases can be treated to improve your chances of conception. It is also a good idea to seek help in case there are any biological reasons why you cannot conceive. Sometimes, conditions such as polycystic ovarian syndrome or PCOS can result in a drop in fertility. There could also be issues with the man’s sperm count or quality of his sperm that is preventing insemination.

Assisted Fertility Treatment

In some cases, such as with PCOS, there can be a chance of conceiving, but that chance can be low if you are trying naturally. However, there are ways that you can increase your chances by taking medication to help you release more eggs. By releasing more eggs each month, your chances of one of them becoming fertilized increases. There is, however, also a chance of having multiple births using this method, so you need to be prepared for that eventuality. The important part of this type of treatment is knowing when you will be fertile, so you can have sex on those days. Some women with PCOS don’t have regular periods, so this can be difficult to predict.

In Vitro Fertilization (IVF)

If it is discovered that you are unable to become pregnant naturally or through medication, then the next option is usually IVF. With this type of procedure, the fertilization of the woman’s egg takes place outside the body so that conception can be confirmed. The fertilized eggs are then implanted into the woman’s womb where they will hopefully start to grow. It is quite an invasive procedure for the woman as she needs to have her eggs harvested and then implanted afterward. It can become a costly way to conceive a child, especially as the success rate is not always high. That means you might need to undergo the procedure multiple times with no guarantee of success.


For some women, even IVF cannot give them the child they want. Or perhaps, the woman has had to have her reproductive organs removed and so cannot carry a child. In these cases, there is the option of surrogacy through companies such as ConceiveAbilities surrogacy. The way surrogacy works is that another woman agrees to carry another couples fertilized egg for them until birth when the child is given to the couple. The women who agree to become surrogates are often those that have had their children but want to offer something to those couples who cannot have their own. It is always a good idea if you intend to use the surrogate option, to use a company to arrange it for you. It can ensure that you are matched with the right person and that all the contact and correspondence is handled in the right way.


Another option that many couples choose is adoption; this is a great way for couples to give a chance to a child that has had a difficult start to their lives. Because of this difficult start, being a foster couple can be more demanding than having your own children. For this reason, it is important that you are fully aware of the requirements and needs of the child. To become a foster family, you need to apply to an organization that can help you become registered and checked. The application process for fostering can be intensive and intrusive, so you need to be aware of that. You can select what type of adoption you want to do, they vary according to the length of time you foster the child. You can have respite which is designed to look after a child for a few days while long-term families have a break. You can also be a short-term fosterer who looks after children for a few weeks until they find long-term care. The last option is for long-term fostering, this means taking on a child until they reach adult age.

Working with Children

Some couples instead of taking the previous options, want to devote their time to helping children in other ways. It is also an option that some couples choose once their own families have grown up and moved away. There are many ways that you can become involved in working with children, one way is to become part of a local community center where you can help to run children’s clubs and activities. Another way is to work in a school environment whether it’s the regular school environment or special needs. These areas can be highly rewarding and offer the opportunity to influence children’s lives. You could also start to work for children’s charities helping to raise awareness of children’s diseases and needs.

For those couples that cannot have children naturally, there are many options you can choose to help bring children into your life. Although some of them are not the same as having your own children, they can still be a worthwhile experience and help you to give something to those kids less fortunate than yourself.

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Mommy Iris

I'm a lifestyle and mommy blogger from the Philippines. Pinay Ads was created to share bits and pieces of my life and my family. I have a wide array of interests that include entertainment, movies, music, gadgets, traveling, food, baking, and more. So, I hope you’ll stick around and enjoy reading!